Sant Cruz Baslica, Fort Kochi

Santa Cruz Baslica, Fort Kochi, another old church from 1500's. A beautiful memory.

Grape Vine

Capiar Roy's grape vine at the back of the sacristy.

Marian Tower dedication

There was a travel mart Exhibition going on at Bolghatty for which I wanted to go to very badly but could not. So when the bus I was traveling from Ernakulam reached the Bolghatty stop I leaned across from where I was sitting to have a look at the way to the exhibition ground. It was then I saw this rather tall girl in green salwar standing in the front of the bus.

When the bus reached the Church stop, most of the passengers from the bus got down, since it was the Sunday after the feast (Which was on a working day) lot of devotees were visiting the church and the bus when it stopped had created a mild road block too. I got down through the back door and crossed over to the other side. When I reached the other side and looked back at the bus, I saw this girl in the green salwar lying flat on the hot sun-scorched road senseless and some fellow church goers running up to her.

While she was crossing over to the other side of the road to the church by the front of the bus a biker who came up from behind the bus without seeing her, rode straight into her. Who ever were around her, ran up to her, tried to lift her up, but she remained unconscious, with no power in her limbs. I feared something worse, and stood watching motionless from where I saw her first.

Surprisingly after a few minutes, we all sighed a huge relief when she responded, actually it was the fear and the shock from the hit that made her go numb. Except for a few bruises on her forearm there was no other serious injury. I hope.

Lady of Ransom church, freshly painted for the feast. The first shot of the new towers after its completion. The towers were dedicated today.

Lady of Ransom feast 2010

24th September, 2010. I got there, very late, after all the festival ceremonies were over. It was raining very hard, most of the roads at Kochi were flooded, besides it was a working day too.

"Jeevanadham" is the publication of the Arch Diocese of Verapoly, it has become very popular lately. A brain child of the His eminence late Dr. Acharuparmabil. Here in this picture is the police aid post. There were hardly any reporting of trouble during the feast week.

The day was mostly overcast, with sun breaking out once in a while. Inside the church it was pleasant with all the flower decks and lights.
The renovation they are carrying out on the church is not yet over, but to devotees it did not matter, they came in hundreds all these week.
The new bell tower just behind the sacristy, not yet operational. They are still using the bells at the front.
While I was inside the church, holding the quiet hour with many others, this man broke out loud in hymns in pure Latin. It was such a joy to hear that. There are not many left who can sing hymns in Latin. Years ago they have converted all the hymns to Malayalam. There was a time though when the mass was celebrated in Latin here. Obviously this man is from that generation. May god bless him and keep him happy.
The Meenakshi Amma's stall. Her family traditionally provide the drink for the devotees.
The pandhal where they celebrated the high mass during the Marian Pilgrimage. Devotees who came from "Kulachal" held their wake in this tent.
Its true, I am not that bend on taking pictures of the church as I used to be, this here would have been beautiful sight at night with all the lights. But some how, I did not had the drive to go to Vallarpadam at night. Distractions in my own life is messing my priorities.
The ads of the sponsor of the feast. May all the blessings and peace of our Lor be upon his family.
Lady of Ransom Altar on the feast day.

We had heavy rain on the feast day, another low pressure and cyclonic condition as per the weather report, quite a few of them this year. The road to the church from the Vypeen - Ernakulam road was flooded, with the big buses of pilgrims from far and the local cars made it a big irritating block. The volunteers who were helping with all these where really tired from the long week of service and the crowd during these days.

Forgive me, I was thinking out loud, "the old boat days were better" and few fellow pilgrims, agreed laughingly.

The feast

Lady of Ransom feast from September 16 -24. Here is a picture from a week earlier, the church getting ready for the feast. See the flower decks on the ceiling.

Marian Pilgrimage

Marian Pilgrimage, this year I did not go. My mother did. A big event, where everybody from the neighboring churches make a pilgrimage to the Lady of Ransom.

A picture of Mary's Slaves I came across surprisingly at the Light house at Pudu Vypeen, near Vallarpadam.

Psalms 4:6-7
There are many who pray:
"Give us more blessings O Lord!,
Look on us with kindness!"
But the joy that you have given me,
is more than they will ever have,
with all their corn and wine.

Joy was our director's driver, where I have this temporary lectureship. He drove only the top executive's at work. So naturally our ways never crossed except, perhaps at the college cafeteria or at the library where I sometimes found him reading where we exchanged pleasantries, briefly.
During the last semester exams there came a situation, some answer sheets of a particular exam need to be hand delivered at the university the same day itself. So it happened the authorities assigned me to take them along with Joy.
It was a pretty long drive, so on our way we got talking. I found Joy to be happy, hardworking, honest man who has evolved well and matured on his spirituality well in tune with his fifty something age. I kind of admired him and thought, what in life might have given him such deep insights.

It didn't took long on our way, before Joy with a sad expression told me, inspite of everything he has a fire of anguish burning in him. I was surprised, 'cos if there was any fire inside, it was not showing at all.

Joy had married early, his wife was a simple Malayalee woman who was happy with his love and what he earned. They had only one child, a daughter, whom Joy and his wife brought up very well. He had expected she would do well in studies, but somehow she couldn't go further than her plus two where she failed.

So when a marriage proposal of a boy from reasonable back ground who was working in "Gulf" came through a friend Joy thought it was Gods will. He married his daughter of in the best possible way he can afford. For Joy and his wife, it was a time of thanks giving, 'cos he has completed one of the most critical responsibility of a father who has a daughter, to settle her in a family way with reasonable means.

But unfortunately Joys happiness was very short lived. In less than a month, the boy who married Joy's daughter sent her back telling, she did not know how to cook. The boy's parents did not have any problem, his relatives and friends did not have any problem, but the boy said, she did not know how to "cook".

Obviously Joy's daughter did not had any physical defects, so the problem was some thing in the way the boy thought. It seemed, his life in the strictly controlled society of Saudi has made him addicted to "some" TV channels which they get there through satellite and he had some kind of high expectations which this simple girl from a local village with zero world view could fulfill.

The boy had returned to his place of work and its been over six months since the girl has come back to Joy. What surprised me most was, Joy was not bitter at all. He did not talk bad about the boy, he did not found fault with his daughter, instead he told me, as long as he live he will look after his daughter as best as he can.

Even though I could not say much, infact I did not had much to say since his own spirituality has helped him to deal with his troubles the best way. We spent around four hours that day, driving and all the while after hearing his anguish, I felt, that boy who married Joy's daughter is seriously mistaken and there "will" be a change of heart soon. That is when he comes home on next vacation. We all know, living in Saudi as an employee is a "Monkish" life.

I told him so. He said, "if he understand what life is, good for him.

PS: Joy is not the real name.

Your perfume

Sometime humans are like a bottle of the best perfume. Only this perfume is very reluctant to come out of the bottle neck. Then the purpose , unfortunately, of the perfume for being itself is lost.

Isn't it amazing, in such circumstances, life itself break the bottle neck, making the perfume flow out for the world around to smell its sweetness.

Some call it the "lows" of life.

Condolence

Yesterday, in one of the lake side resorts a bit far away from my town, the wife of a German couple who was staying there along with their two foster children was taken ill and the resort called a taxi to take them to the nearest hospital, sending along an young trainee girl with the couple, who spoke better English.
On the way there was a rail cross which was closed expecting a train to pass in the next ten minutes, so the driver drove up another way to cross the rail at an unmanned level cross, Perhaps to save time.
Unfortunately as soon as he drove over the rail, train arrived and smashed into the car killing the German couple, the driver and the young trainee girl, right on the spot.

Thats life, the unexpected at the unexpected time.

K.M. Mathew (Malayala Manorama)

"Peace is what I leave with you; it's my own peace that I give you." John 14:27


Mathew Kutty chayan, thats how everybody called him. Even though I have never met him or seen him, he was so much part of our lives. A man I admired and respected, first for his faith and second for his commitment to his cause.

Thank you Mathew Kutty Chayan, you had our lords peace in you and your life showed it.

One of the last of that golden generation from during the independence struggle, we will miss you and fondly remember you, always.

Day

No matter rain or sun they are at "work".
The courtyard of Lady of Ransom awashed in rains.

This year too, the "No Trolling" days are over. Big boats are back into the sea, what is alarming is the lack of interest among the young for fishing job. Lady of Ransom is traditionally a sea-faring folks worship center. Hope the authorities will do something to make this trade attractive once again. Infact the earning potential is much more in this type of trade. Now they are bringing fisher folks from a place called "Kulachal" at Kanyakumari (Tamil Nadu) to fish and operate fishing boats.

Monsoon at lady of ransom

For them, it was business as usual. Selling candles, flowers and lime Juice. But during monsoon business is dull and life a drag.
"Karkidakam" the heaviest of our monsoon months was really wet this year too. The first month of the monsoon was a welcome change from the heat of summer, but a month into the monsoon our body has become supple and tender. Very easy to break a bone or sprain an ankle.
At lady of Ransom, they have this new Hall, with facilities for Adoration, Confession and Slave Offerings. Its spacious and really convenient.

The tooth.

I was twelve when one of my teeth decayed and went dormant. For 20 odd years it did not give me any problems. But two years ago, when I had to live in very cold situation, it started giving me problems. Warm weather, cold weather the pain switched on and off. Today, the dentist extracted that for me. A nostalgic good bye.

Journey

The road is long and lonely....Oh! my spirit, please do not leave me alone.

Vanaka Maasam

The end of May. The month of special reverence of our "Mother". We call this "Vanaka Maasam". Vanakam means revering, maasam is month. Earlier, when life in our place was "still" we celebrated the closing of the revering month with crackers and special feast. But not any more. Only few crackers were heard this month end. We ourselves did not celebrate it.

Times Change.

A scholarly gentleman whom I met today surprised me with an out of the box definition for professionalism. "Its the ability to put the right amount of skill and talent to deal with a situation in the best possible way".

If thats true, are we professionals in dealing with our own life?

:)

Pentecost

Most of the the time we have to stand alone in our life not on podiums or between waring fractions (those are for the ones who are born to lead or for the ones who want to be a "star"), but in our simple day today life. In the way we think, in the way we do ordinary things. The Gift of the spirit is perhaps the greatest of gifts one can have when one choose to walk The Way.

Last Sunday was the Pentecost. At lady of Ransom, the church being dedicated to the Holy Ghost, the feast was special. I stood "out" in the courtyard under the big tree near the school all through the service. Feast days are very crowded at the lady of Ransom.

The man

Psalm 30:
"1(29) I will praise you because you have freed me. Nothing is definitive in this life. The Lord alternates joys and sorrows according to what we need for the development of our faith. We are, at times, surprised: the trials discourage us as if God no longer existed, and when God gives favors, we dare not believe them to be true".

Monsoon

The Malayalam month of "Edavam" is on giving us a much needed escape from the burning heat of "Medam". Though we cannot expect rains till the middle of Edavam ( Edava paathi) it rained like the monsoons today.
I was reading "David" from Samuel when the rains knocked the power off. When I found a torch this was the page that lay opened in the Bible I was reading.

Did not go much to Lady of Ransom in the last few weeks, for the first time in all these years I suffered a severe sunburn, forearms were completely inflamed. The last of my uncles, whom I visit every Sunday fell ill and he was so weak, we had to help him even to toilet. Life is a cycle, if we live long one day if we are lucky we too have nephews and nieces who will help us with our needs and say words of peace to us..:)

No sacrifice, no victory.

The very purpose this blog is to share my experience of trying to face my life in Jesus way. When I say that I mean the troubles and worries that comes in life, trying to see them the way Jesus has taught and live them that way. Of course, I am not successful all the time, but the hope of peace and joy from the Gurus way is keeping me walk that way since all else I have tried, I have failed miserably.

Recently certain happenings have undone my efforts so far to a larger scale than I would like to admit. First is I have started smoking again, not that many still two three cigrattes a day. A slave, first to the emotions that brings a kind of helplessness in my mind and then the craving. The helplessness started when the folks whom I have to repay after I inherited a debt called for asking money.

The second is loosing temper, flaring up at the least of provocation.

At times, I am loosing the focus to see the tests as a challenge the way my belief preaches. Somehow I fall under the burden of challenges taking them as certainties even though the fact remains nothing is certain nor constant, even this stage has to pass.

No sacrifice no victory was the caption they had on the board of my undergraduate students. But most of them did not turn up for a special class I arranged to finish up their lessons before the semester end. I lived that three hours class, an extreme joy god has blessed me with during this troubling times.

Sat all the afternoon today, Sunday, at lady of Ransom. It was impossibly hot even though it had rained well last week, even with thunders rolling.

Easter

Happy Easter.

At lady of ransom the church was not full at all for the morning mass, folks were particular to attend the Easter mass at night.

There was this guy from the XIX common wealth game, Delhi doing some kind of promo, "Sher" Man or the mascot.















The day of blessing and distributing Holy Water too. The church towers are nearing completion. They are almost white washed now, but still more work to be done. The first picture with some paint on, should say.

Maundy Thursday

The Pessaha.
College closed on Wednesday till Sunday. This is a long holiday and I was heaving huge relief when an awful tooth ache took me down. An "unbelievably" humble dentist told me she could not help until the swelling subsides.
Stayed home, Thursday and Friday, just going to the neighborhood church for the "Burial" on Good Friday Night.

Palm Sunday

At lady of Ransom, the day started near Meenakshi Amma's house where the palm leaves were blessed and everyone came to the church in a procession.

I was late, really late for church. Attended the 9.30 Am mass. The church was not full as most of the parishioners have come for the first mass which is very important on a Palm Sunday.

Towards the end of the mass saw a lad praying tearfully, literally begging looking at the altar. There was an instantaneous connection between him and me as I was also begging in my heart. He sensing that he is being watched left quickly. I couldn't help praying for him though.

Quantitative techniques, reading about them is saving my mind from worrying. Luckily got an opportunity on Saturday to boat across the beautiful back waters. It was lovely indeed. A nice break.

Solace

With my mind greatly troubled with the new worry, I had no choice but to throw myself on the subjects which I have to lecture every day to beat the anguish that is burning my "dil". Boon or bane I do not know, though very much junior in the team, I was assigned quite two more subjects lately which has left me with no time to think of anything else but my lecture notes.

Did those who became experts in some subjects had a severe heart burn too?

At the lady of ransom, on previous two Sundays I sat few hours without even thinking or analyzing anything. My mind was unusually blank. May be the fear factor. The fear of how I will meet my new responsibility has blown out my senses...:)?

Am I overreacting?

Felt happy attending the mass standing under the big tree in the courtyard. The voice that came out through the "kolambi" speakers were crisp and dear, it consoled me and told me I should not despair.

Later that week, got a surprise call from Tanzania, in Africa, the gentleman asking me for a time for a telephonic interview. The interview was not that great, I could not answer some key questions satisfactorily. Still they asked me when can I join them, since their requirement is urgent. I had my students to think of, I said, no way before first week of April.
"Ok", the gentleman said, "but we will go for some one who can join us early, if we can find one".
I haven't heard from them since.

I have no choice, if they call again, I will have to take up the offer to over ride the financial demon that is going to eat me soon.

But the teaching job.. which I have come to like so much.

I am sure I will find my answer at Lady of Ransom. Surprise, how this gentleman in a Rose farm in Tanzania which exports flowers to Europe found my CV?

Well..Lady of Ransom Miracle.. what else can I say...

test of faith

Very recently I inherited some hefty debts. Since it came from someone I should respect in life, I took it with a open heart. But later, somehow the attitude of that person wrecked my peace. Within no time, I could feel hatred filling my being. Fear and desperation took hold of me. I had lost the light in my life.

The struggle is on, to resurrect my being. I know my victory lies not in hurt but in hope and love. The very demons of vices and temptations which I have conquered earlier are pounding on my doors.

The battle has become sadly exciting..My destiny is in suspense..:):):)

Love

Only, only if, I can hold the peace of my heart,
The same peace You gave unto us, O lord,
Through the winds and the sun,

Only then, my heart will bloom,
To color the world with love...

Farewell, Winter..

The dripping hot summer is here, Kochi is already sweating alot.. The camp fire that bid the season farewell..:) As a part of this program got a chance to meet some good folks who work among special children and orphans. Couldn't make it to lady of ransom this week.

Surprise continues..

Sunday, two weeks ago, when I went to Lady of Ransom, I had a special reason for thanks giving. There was a teacher colleague, who was going through high level of anxiety as her husband was taken ill. Numbness of limbs. He has been diagnosed with some problem with his nerves which is not helping circulation.

Her anxiety was giving her big time stress. I could somehow sense it and in every possible opportunity, I used to talk to her, positively which she welcomed happily.

I had offered her problems during my intercession at lady of Ransom along with a lot of other acquaintances who was also interceding for her from different places.

Last week, she left our college when she got a huge break at the university which somehow secured her life with better stability.

I was pleasantly amused.

Come to think of it, the whole offer was a blessing, with absolutely no effort from me. This is a realization I do not want to forget.

So the mission, is to provide my students, the best exposure to the subject I have been assigned.

The effort is hard work, but I am enjoying it whole.

Potta Bible Convention January, 2010

The theme message from Fr. Mathew Naikcomparamabil in his talk during the Convention :

Just around the time, When Father Mathew and Panackal were doing there initial ministry at Potta, many mothers and wives used to come to them requesting prayers for the release of their sons and husbands from the bondage of alcoholism.

They used to pray and many of these were saved from the wicked bondage. But after two or three months, these men who are living in a world where these vices can be easily practiced will succumb to the temptations miserably and the cycle will repeat itself with the same mothers and wives coming to Potta requesting spiritual help.

As this went on, Fathers sought the divine advice and the message they got was:

No matter what ever be our sufferings, we have to offer them along with the sufferings of Christ Jesus to our Holy father for His mercy on thousands who are suffering the same pain, hurt etc.

Since our suffering in itself does not qualify for a reconciliation 'cos of our impure stage as humans, this offering has to be made along with Christ, Jesus's suffering.

This is an intercession in itself, without doubt this will bring us not only healing of our suffering but also grace and blessings for certain.

I have heard Fr. Naikcomparamabil stressing this aspect in almost all his talks in recent years.

Beggar

In the last few months or so, I have spent quite a lot of time at the Lady of Ransom Church meditating and worshiping, just like many others who come there . There were few things that was on my mind , really bothering me. One was the fact the current economic recession, ate my job at Dubai, but I was not really bothered about the job situation as I had gone through similar situation earlier too in the last twelve or so years I was working there and has come out of it successfully with the grace of god. My worry was that , I had lost the urge to work .. to work for a company, to continue to be an accountant.

During my sessions at Lady of Ransom, my heart has cried out many times to take me there where God want me to go. A realm of activity which he has meant for me as I know with all my heart that my working days are over.

Ten months passed by, I had ran out of my reserves many times over and nothing happened. My own folks thought, I had gone nuts. Not applying for anything new, turning down offers from previous employers etc..

Then from the blues came a call from a college in the neighboring town, with an offer t o teach. Its only three days now, since I started teaching but I "Believe" my god knew better...:):):)


Indeed, I too was a beggar at His feet and I re-collect with a smile, how this woman in the picture was so confused, when she raised her hands upto me each time she saw me and I could give her only my best smile. She did not knew there was not much difference between she and me, both was at His mercy.

Way of life

The altar design today, Diamonds with sarees.
First Sunday of the New Year I went to Vallarpadam. As usual there were many by the Lady of Ransom praying their heart out. I feel sad at heart, not seeing them pray but the way they grieve inside. We can make out from their expression the kind of turmoil their souls are in.

Whenever I see such, my heart also goes out in prayer along with them, "May all of them, find the true peace, not just the solution for their current miseries, but the true peace and joy that the Lord has offered which no one can take away from them. May their heart be opened to receive such love and peace".
But the fact of the matter is the world is so devilish these days, even brothers and parents become enemies of each other, waiting for the chance to hurt and finding pleasure in others fall. The silent rage that boils inside of these unfortunate ones, which some times erupts violently and ends in tragedies.
Oh! god please guard and keep such, especially those who sought Your solace today at the Lady of Ransom.
Though I enjoys taking pictures very much, I was badly shaken during the prayers at church today, I could not enjoy much the sun set pictures I took today at Vallarpadm.