Palm Sunday

At lady of Ransom, the day started near Meenakshi Amma's house where the palm leaves were blessed and everyone came to the church in a procession.

I was late, really late for church. Attended the 9.30 Am mass. The church was not full as most of the parishioners have come for the first mass which is very important on a Palm Sunday.

Towards the end of the mass saw a lad praying tearfully, literally begging looking at the altar. There was an instantaneous connection between him and me as I was also begging in my heart. He sensing that he is being watched left quickly. I couldn't help praying for him though.

Quantitative techniques, reading about them is saving my mind from worrying. Luckily got an opportunity on Saturday to boat across the beautiful back waters. It was lovely indeed. A nice break.

Solace

With my mind greatly troubled with the new worry, I had no choice but to throw myself on the subjects which I have to lecture every day to beat the anguish that is burning my "dil". Boon or bane I do not know, though very much junior in the team, I was assigned quite two more subjects lately which has left me with no time to think of anything else but my lecture notes.

Did those who became experts in some subjects had a severe heart burn too?

At the lady of ransom, on previous two Sundays I sat few hours without even thinking or analyzing anything. My mind was unusually blank. May be the fear factor. The fear of how I will meet my new responsibility has blown out my senses...:)?

Am I overreacting?

Felt happy attending the mass standing under the big tree in the courtyard. The voice that came out through the "kolambi" speakers were crisp and dear, it consoled me and told me I should not despair.

Later that week, got a surprise call from Tanzania, in Africa, the gentleman asking me for a time for a telephonic interview. The interview was not that great, I could not answer some key questions satisfactorily. Still they asked me when can I join them, since their requirement is urgent. I had my students to think of, I said, no way before first week of April.
"Ok", the gentleman said, "but we will go for some one who can join us early, if we can find one".
I haven't heard from them since.

I have no choice, if they call again, I will have to take up the offer to over ride the financial demon that is going to eat me soon.

But the teaching job.. which I have come to like so much.

I am sure I will find my answer at Lady of Ransom. Surprise, how this gentleman in a Rose farm in Tanzania which exports flowers to Europe found my CV?

Well..Lady of Ransom Miracle.. what else can I say...

test of faith

Very recently I inherited some hefty debts. Since it came from someone I should respect in life, I took it with a open heart. But later, somehow the attitude of that person wrecked my peace. Within no time, I could feel hatred filling my being. Fear and desperation took hold of me. I had lost the light in my life.

The struggle is on, to resurrect my being. I know my victory lies not in hurt but in hope and love. The very demons of vices and temptations which I have conquered earlier are pounding on my doors.

The battle has become sadly exciting..My destiny is in suspense..:):):)